When it comes to writing compelling fiction, one of the keys to engaging your readers is mastering how to show your characters' thoughts and feelings. Let’s dive into the techniques and best practices that will elevate your storytelling and help you craft vivid, immersive narratives.

What Not to Do: Outdated Practices in Showing Character Thoughts
In the past, it was common to set off character thoughts with italics or use thought tags like "Bob thought." For example:
I don’t agree with what he’s saying, Bob thought.
While this approach is not technically incorrect, it’s no longer considered best practice. Modern readers expect a deeper point of view (POV), which minimizes the use of tags and creates a more seamless reading experience. Tags like "Bob thought" subtly pull readers out of the story by drawing attention to the mechanics of the narrative rather than the thoughts themselves.
The Power of Deep POV in Helping to Show Your Characters' Thoughts and Feelings
To up-level your fiction writing, embrace deep POV. Deep POV immerses readers fully in the character's perspective by eliminating unnecessary tags and making thoughts a natural part of the narrative. For instance:
Instead of:I can reach the book if I stretch a little higher, thought Bob.
Write:He could reach the book if he stretched a little higher.
This approach integrates thoughts into the flow of the story, keeping readers deeply connected to the character’s experience. By practicing this technique, you can create narratives that feel more immediate and emotionally resonant.
Techniques for Showing Character Thoughts
Make Thoughts a Seamless Part of the Narrative: Avoid setting thoughts apart with tags or italics. Instead, weave them into the story as natural extensions of the character's actions and observations.
Avoid Over-Explaining: Trust your readers to understand whose thoughts they are reading, especially if you’ve established a clear POV.
Focus on Specificity: Instead of summarizing thoughts, give precise details. For example, instead of writing, "His thoughts strayed to something dark," show the dark thought itself.
How to Show Emotions Through Body Language
Describing a character’s body language is one of the most effective ways to convey emotions without telling the reader what to feel. Here are some tips:
Use Subtle or Dramatic Physical Reactions:Body language can range from a slight shift in weight to a dramatic gesture. For example, sadness might be conveyed through slumped shoulders or a hand covering the face.
Highlight Facial Expressions:Expressions often clarify emotions. For instance, raised eyebrows and a tight jaw might indicate anger, while a furrowed brow could suggest confusion or concern.
Ensure Context Matches Emotion:If a character doubles over, is it from grief, exhaustion, or physical pain? Clarify the emotion by adding context or expression.
Using Physical Sensations to Show Emotion
Emotions are often accompanied by physical sensations, especially for POV characters. Here’s how to effectively use this technique:
Describe the Physical Response:For example, fear might manifest as a chill running down the spine, a racing heartbeat, or tingling fingers. Sadness could feel like a heavy chest or cold hands.
Introduce Character-Specific Reactions:You can add unique quirks to your characters. For instance, a character might feel their left elbow tingle every time they’re scared. Introduce this trait early, so readers recognize it as a sign of fear without explanation later.
Combine Physical Sensations with Body Language:Pair internal sensations with outward actions to create a fuller picture of the emotion. For example:A chill zinged down John’s spine as his knees buckled and his stomach turned to ice.
Examples and Recap
Let’s look at examples to compare telling and showing:
Telling:The grizzly bear stepped out from behind the tree. John was afraid.
Showing:The grizzly bear stepped out from behind the tree. A chill zinged down John’s spine. His knees became weak, and his stomach turned to ice.
By using vivid descriptions of physical sensations and body language, you’ve brought John’s fear to life.
Practice Makes Perfect
Mastering the art of showing character thoughts and emotions takes practice. Start by:
Identifying instances in your writing where you’ve used thought tags or told emotions.
Revising to eliminate tags and integrate thoughts naturally into the narrative.
Describing emotions through body language and physical sensations.
The more you practice, the more intuitive these techniques will become, making your writing stronger and more engaging. Keep challenging yourself, and you’ll soon find that showing character thoughts and emotions comes naturally.
By refining these skills, you’ll captivate your readers and take your storytelling to the next level. Happy writing!
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